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Audrey?
4
00:02:50,795 --> 00:02:52,255
Yeah?
5
00:02:56,468 --> 00:02:58,053
You...
6
00:02:58,178 --> 00:03:00,347
You were raised like me.
7
00:03:02,974 --> 00:03:05,352
You came out
with your eyes open.
8
00:03:05,352 --> 00:03:07,437
You were fully aware.
9
00:03:14,361 --> 00:03:15,945
Your father...
10
00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:22,952
Your father dedicated
his life to his fiddle.
11
00:03:27,457 --> 00:03:31,503
And that's what he left us.
His instrument.
12
00:03:34,381 --> 00:03:40,011
I can't tell you how many times
I imagined dismantling it.
13
00:03:45,058 --> 00:03:47,310
Your dad,
14
00:03:49,270 --> 00:03:52,649
he had an incredible
disappearing act, didn't he?
15
00:03:54,901 --> 00:03:56,820
Just like my own pops.
16
00:03:56,820 --> 00:03:59,239
Yeah, I know, Mom.
I know.
17
00:04:00,615 --> 00:04:04,494
We managed our moment,
but it was tough.
18
00:04:06,121 --> 00:04:08,915
He was on tour,
he was rehearsing.
19
00:04:08,915 --> 00:04:10,667
He was in the studio.
20
00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:14,003
He just...
21
00:04:15,213 --> 00:04:17,007
He just wasn't around.
22
00:04:19,050 --> 00:04:22,679
You didn't handle that
very well.
23
00:04:25,181 --> 00:04:27,559
You know that some people said
24
00:04:27,559 --> 00:04:31,021
that half of your personality
was missing.
25
00:04:35,900 --> 00:04:37,736
Audrey?
26
00:04:37,736 --> 00:04:39,571
Are you listening?
27
00:04:43,324 --> 00:04:44,951
Yeah.
28
00:04:50,915 --> 00:04:52,584
When I die,
29
00:04:56,546 --> 00:05:00,717
I want you to scatter
30
00:05:01,509 --> 00:05:06,014
the violin's ashes
with mine.
31
00:06:22,841 --> 00:06:24,467
Audrey?
32
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:28,555
When I die,
33
00:06:29,347 --> 00:06:31,808
I want you to scatter...
34
00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:36,725
I was walking
across my hotel room
35
00:08:36,725 --> 00:08:41,271
and I tripped
over a lamp cord and fell.
36
00:08:48,278 --> 00:08:50,739
I was an old woman
37
00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:56,661
and something like this can be
the beginning of the end.
38
00:08:58,496 --> 00:09:02,542
The humerus
in my left shoulder was torn.
39
00:09:02,667 --> 00:09:08,298
I was so afraid
that I might never play again.
40
00:09:12,927 --> 00:09:18,516
After my operation,
I sat up in my hospital bed
41
00:09:18,516 --> 00:09:22,312
feeling the wrenched bones
and muscles.
42
00:09:24,439 --> 00:09:28,777
The doctor handed me
my violin.
43
00:09:28,777 --> 00:09:31,571
My Guarnerius del Gesù.
44
00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:34,532
I tried to place it
under my chin,
45
00:09:34,532 --> 00:09:36,743
but it fell from my fingers.
46
00:09:54,636 --> 00:09:57,555
Gradually, I felt well again.
47
00:09:57,555 --> 00:10:00,225
I reignited
the Parlow String Quartet.
48
00:10:00,225 --> 00:10:04,604
I found Cornelius Ysselstyn,
Stanley Solomon,
49
00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:07,941
and my newest recruit,
Andy Benac.
50
00:10:08,066 --> 00:10:10,735
I heard Benac play
at a senior school recital.
51
00:10:10,735 --> 00:10:13,780
I offered him a place
straight away.
52
00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:18,785
In his delight, Andy said
that he nearly hit the roof.
53
00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:05,123
I began to teach my hand again.
54
00:11:05,123 --> 00:11:07,792
One exercise consisted
of opening
55
00:11:07,792 --> 00:11:12,672
and closing it
very, very slowly,
56
00:11:13,798 --> 00:11:18,178
sometimes taking me
ten minutes to do it.
57
00:11:42,577 --> 00:11:45,872
I began doing
the exercises underwater
58
00:11:45,872 --> 00:11:49,334
and my hands,
relieved of their own weight,
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00:11:49,334 --> 00:11:51,920
could resume
the remembered positions.
60
00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:56,174
Every day, I tried
something more difficult.
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00:11:56,174 --> 00:12:01,221
When I realized enduring
the agony meant real progress,
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00:12:01,346 --> 00:12:04,224
I naturally didn't mind.
63
00:12:26,788 --> 00:12:32,001
Some nine months later,
in January 1961,
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00:12:33,378 --> 00:12:36,005
wearing a cobalt blue gown,
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00:12:37,382 --> 00:12:39,426
I gave a recital.
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00:12:41,553 --> 00:12:43,221
I played a program
that displayed
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00:12:43,221 --> 00:12:45,515
the infinite beauties
of the violin.
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00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:48,768
The staccatos in Mozart,
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00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:51,020
clear and definite,
yet delicate.
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00:12:53,523 --> 00:12:57,444
Brahms' sonata,
rich in tone without muddiness,
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00:12:57,444 --> 00:12:59,321
a fine-as-hair sound.
72
00:12:59,446 --> 00:13:02,991
Respighi,
rallentandos right and long,
73
00:13:02,991 --> 00:13:06,953
sweeping, bowing,
giving power and breath.
74
00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:12,709
It was a concert played
as if between my life
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00:13:12,709 --> 00:13:15,503
and my release
to the heavens.
76
00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:18,506
Three months afterward,
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00:13:18,506 --> 00:13:22,927
I fell on exiting a streetcar
78
00:13:23,053 --> 00:13:26,514
and died in the hospital
from the injuries.
79
00:14:27,951 --> 00:14:29,160
Hi Inès.
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00:14:32,622 --> 00:14:35,000
Are you familiar
with this article?
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00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:40,004
The manuscript of the Concerto
by Johan Halvorsen, Opus 28?
82
00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:43,049
What's the significance
83
00:14:43,174 --> 00:14:45,552
of Kathleen's name
being on the cover?
84
00:14:45,677 --> 00:14:47,679
It's her concert copy?
85
00:14:48,847 --> 00:14:50,640
It is her concert copy.
86
00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:52,600
But the concerto
was also dedicated
87
00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:55,770
to Kathleen when she was 17.
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00:14:55,770 --> 00:14:58,565
When a concerto
is dedicated to a musician,
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00:14:58,690 --> 00:15:01,818
it is implied that
they take it on as a soloist.
90
00:15:01,943 --> 00:15:04,237
What aspect
of Kathleen's personality
91
00:15:04,237 --> 00:15:06,990
would have inspired Halvorsen
to write for her?
92
00:15:07,866 --> 00:15:10,035
It was described
that Kathleen was
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00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:12,662
especially
technically proficient
94
00:15:12,662 --> 00:15:16,708
and that she attacked difficulty
with a certain gusto.
95
00:15:21,546 --> 00:15:23,006
Audrey...
96
00:15:25,633 --> 00:15:28,720
what happened
with your presentation today?
97
00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:32,557
I was brought
to the collection
98
00:15:32,682 --> 00:15:34,809
by a personal coincidence,
99
00:15:34,809 --> 00:15:37,103
when I saw it listed
in the archive holdings
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00:15:37,228 --> 00:15:38,772
and made the connection
that Kathleen was
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00:15:38,772 --> 00:15:40,982
my grandfather's violin teacher.
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00:15:42,650 --> 00:15:44,903
I had been stuck
for what to write my thesis on,
103
00:15:45,028 --> 00:15:49,032
and this personal connection
tethered me to something.
104
00:15:51,076 --> 00:15:53,411
I worry that if I put her
in an academic paper,
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00:15:53,536 --> 00:15:56,414
I'm just rearranging things
or burying them deeper.
106
00:16:04,506 --> 00:16:05,548
Is there a recording?
107
00:16:05,548 --> 00:16:07,050
No.
108
00:16:07,050 --> 00:16:10,929
It was performed
in the Netherlands in 1909,
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00:16:10,929 --> 00:16:14,182
but the concerto was lost
for over a century.
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00:16:14,307 --> 00:16:17,477
One of our archivists found it
in a shoebox
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00:16:17,602 --> 00:16:20,772
while sorting through
Kathleen's estate.
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00:16:20,772 --> 00:16:23,775
After Halvorsen retired
as music director
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00:16:23,775 --> 00:16:26,277
of the National Theatre
of Norway,
114
00:16:26,277 --> 00:16:30,240
he had a stagehand burn
many of his manuscripts.
115
00:16:30,365 --> 00:16:31,991
Why did he burn it?
116
00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:34,786
The concerto
wasn't well received.
117
00:16:34,786 --> 00:16:39,749
Critics said it was bombastic
and technically difficult.
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00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:44,379
See here,
the phrases of the violin
119
00:16:45,171 --> 00:16:48,925
are constructed
like opponents
120
00:16:48,925 --> 00:16:51,553
that the violin
cuts through like a sword.
121
00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:54,222
It's ruthless.
122
00:16:54,222 --> 00:16:57,976
Kathleen was single-minded
and unsentimental.
123
00:16:57,976 --> 00:17:00,437
She had this enormous success
when she was young,
124
00:17:00,562 --> 00:17:03,148
but she was totally neglected
later in her life.
125
00:17:03,148 --> 00:17:05,108
But still, she continued
to play the violin
126
00:17:05,108 --> 00:17:07,444
regardless of
any external reinforcement.
127
00:17:08,987 --> 00:17:10,530
People can be very put off
128
00:17:10,655 --> 00:17:14,117
by a lack of sentimentality
or frailty.
129
00:17:16,119 --> 00:17:18,163
It's a contradiction in terms,
isn't it?
130
00:17:18,163 --> 00:17:21,249
To dedicate something to someone
and then destroy it?
131
00:17:22,292 --> 00:17:24,878
When you're looking
at the objects
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00:17:25,003 --> 00:17:27,505
left behind by a person
who has died,
133
00:17:27,630 --> 00:17:32,510
you can obviously assign
significance to what was kept.
134
00:17:32,510 --> 00:17:38,099
Then there's also the importance
of the objects that are missing,
135
00:17:38,224 --> 00:17:40,935
such as Kathleen's
famous violin,
136
00:17:41,061 --> 00:17:43,229
the Guarnerius del Gesù,
137
00:17:43,229 --> 00:17:45,440
that was unaccounted for
in her estate.
138
00:17:46,858 --> 00:17:49,110
But in terms of how the deceased
139
00:17:49,235 --> 00:17:52,947
wanted those objects
to be seen or used,
140
00:17:52,947 --> 00:17:55,784
you'll find
that in your attraction
141
00:17:55,909 --> 00:17:57,827
to a particular object,
142
00:17:58,828 --> 00:18:01,873
you're actually encountering
your own will.
143
00:18:02,999 --> 00:18:06,169
The Guarnerius del Gesù
was purchased for Kathleen
144
00:18:06,169 --> 00:18:09,589
by the Norwegian nobleman
Einar Björnson.
145
00:18:12,050 --> 00:18:13,134
Throughout the day books,
146
00:18:13,259 --> 00:18:17,430
you can see "EB arriving",
"EB leaving".
147
00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:20,058
It's funny to see
what may have been a love affair
148
00:18:20,183 --> 00:18:22,143
described in only arrivals
and departures.
149
00:18:26,856 --> 00:18:28,983
On the day
of their last meeting,
150
00:18:28,983 --> 00:18:31,820
"EB sailing"
is underlined with a hard dash.
151
00:18:36,199 --> 00:18:38,660
She never married, you know.
152
00:18:38,785 --> 00:18:40,620
She alleged that marriage
153
00:18:40,745 --> 00:18:44,207
and an artistic career
were incompatible.
154
00:18:45,417 --> 00:18:48,211
I read that she'd marry
another musician
155
00:18:48,336 --> 00:18:50,964
if he were superior
to her in ability,
156
00:18:50,964 --> 00:18:54,092
because then she'd have
to strive to be as good as him.
157
00:18:54,092 --> 00:18:55,135
But if he were worse than her,
158
00:18:55,260 --> 00:18:57,345
she'd have to take care
of his feelings.
159
00:18:58,972 --> 00:19:02,642
In fact,
she said that most women
160
00:19:02,642 --> 00:19:04,811
didn't have
the dedication required
161
00:19:04,811 --> 00:19:07,564
to be a great violinist.
162
00:19:07,564 --> 00:19:09,441
Perhaps she meant
that most women
163
00:19:09,566 --> 00:19:14,154
are unwilling to give up
on the possibilities of love.
164
00:19:14,279 --> 00:19:17,699
Her life was occasioned
by these Norwegian men.
165
00:19:17,824 --> 00:19:21,953
Björnson with the del Gesù,
Halvorsen with the Concerto.
166
00:19:25,081 --> 00:19:26,207
But there was a point
where their support
167
00:19:26,207 --> 00:19:27,876
came with
these weighted conditions,
168
00:19:27,876 --> 00:19:29,919
and she had to free herself.
169
00:19:31,129 --> 00:19:32,756
Still, she carried
the experience of it
170
00:19:32,881 --> 00:19:34,299
with her in her hands.
171
00:19:40,805 --> 00:19:43,767
Audrey, you know
I like talking to you,
172
00:19:43,892 --> 00:19:45,602
but I'm your thesis supervisor.
173
00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:49,105
It's irritating.
174
00:19:49,230 --> 00:19:52,567
You expect me to keep making
allowances for you.
175
00:19:54,069 --> 00:19:56,112
You've presented
no tangible work
176
00:19:56,112 --> 00:19:58,281
toward your thesis,
and you're coming toward
177
00:19:58,406 --> 00:20:01,242
the end of your degree
and your funding.
178
00:20:02,619 --> 00:20:08,249
I can't support
you continuing to accumulate.
179
00:20:08,249 --> 00:20:11,044
I need you to bring
your research
180
00:20:11,169 --> 00:20:13,505
into some kind of action.
181
00:20:15,090 --> 00:20:17,217
I know, I'm frustrated
with myself, too.
182
00:20:17,217 --> 00:20:18,968
Are you?
183
00:20:23,973 --> 00:20:26,434
Kathleen once said,
184
00:20:27,352 --> 00:20:30,522
music begins
where love leaves off.
185
00:22:21,841 --> 00:22:25,679
The Titanic was
wrecked on her maiden voyage.
186
00:22:25,679 --> 00:22:27,514
The whole world was shocked
187
00:22:27,514 --> 00:22:31,476
and the city of New York
was in a state of mourning.
188
00:22:32,852 --> 00:22:37,565
A benefit concert at the Met
was organized for the survivors.
189
00:22:37,565 --> 00:22:40,402
I played Tchaikovsky's
Sérénade mélancolique.
190
00:22:46,324 --> 00:22:49,202
I felt a disparity
between my own happiness
191
00:22:49,202 --> 00:22:51,496
in the face of catastrophe.
192
00:23:49,846 --> 00:23:52,015
What happened?
193
00:23:52,140 --> 00:23:53,641
I left him.
194
00:23:56,269 --> 00:23:58,730
I didn't know you two
were close to breaking up.
195
00:24:00,565 --> 00:24:02,859
I didn't even know
there were problems.
196
00:24:04,653 --> 00:24:06,446
I don't know
what they were
197
00:24:06,571 --> 00:24:08,740
or I can't feel
that they matter now.
198
00:24:10,241 --> 00:24:11,534
When I was explaining it to him,
199
00:24:11,534 --> 00:24:14,287
I suddenly had this feeling
like I was lying
200
00:24:14,287 --> 00:24:15,914
and maybe everything was fine.
201
00:24:16,790 --> 00:24:19,918
Maybe this pull I was feeling
was something I made up.
202
00:24:23,171 --> 00:24:25,840
It's such an absurd effort
to change your life.
203
00:24:27,092 --> 00:24:28,468
You follow an impulse
204
00:24:28,468 --> 00:24:30,553
and something of that impulse
is lost.
205
00:24:34,015 --> 00:24:36,309
And your mother?
206
00:24:36,309 --> 00:24:38,520
There's still time.
207
00:24:41,523 --> 00:24:43,733
Is that what you're reading?
208
00:24:43,733 --> 00:24:44,776
Mm!
209
00:24:47,237 --> 00:24:50,657
I folded the corner of the page
because it made me think of you.
210
00:24:50,657 --> 00:24:52,409
Do you know the story?
211
00:24:52,409 --> 00:24:54,536
No.
212
00:24:54,536 --> 00:24:57,872
Basically, this young
American woman leaves for Europe
213
00:24:57,998 --> 00:24:59,499
with the sort of
imprecise purpose
214
00:24:59,499 --> 00:25:01,418
of gaining knowledge
and experience.
215
00:25:01,543 --> 00:25:04,421
And early into her trip,
she's proposed to by a man
216
00:25:04,421 --> 00:25:06,673
who has a social position,
is intelligent,
217
00:25:06,673 --> 00:25:08,925
and is expected to have
a very important career.
218
00:25:11,261 --> 00:25:12,929
Okay, here.
219
00:25:17,809 --> 00:25:21,229
"He had conceived the design
of drawing her into the system
220
00:25:21,354 --> 00:25:24,733
"in which she rather
individually lived and moved.
221
00:25:24,858 --> 00:25:27,610
"A certain instinct,
not imperious but persuasive,
222
00:25:27,610 --> 00:25:31,531
"told her to resist,
murmured to her that virtually,
223
00:25:31,531 --> 00:25:34,326
"she had a system
and an orbit of her own.
224
00:25:34,326 --> 00:25:36,327
"It told her
other things besides,
225
00:25:36,327 --> 00:25:39,539
"things which both contradicted
and confirmed each other.
226
00:25:39,539 --> 00:25:41,249
"That a girl might do much worse
227
00:25:41,249 --> 00:25:42,709
"than trust herself
to such a man,
228
00:25:42,709 --> 00:25:44,669
"and that it would be
very interesting
229
00:25:44,669 --> 00:25:47,047
"to see something of his system
from his own point of view.
230
00:25:48,006 --> 00:25:50,383
"On the other hand, there was
evidently a great deal of it
231
00:25:50,508 --> 00:25:54,179
"which she should regard only
as a complication of every hour,
232
00:25:54,179 --> 00:25:55,555
"and that even in the whole
233
00:25:55,555 --> 00:25:57,557
"there was
something stiff and stupid
234
00:25:57,557 --> 00:25:59,309
which would make it a burden."
235
00:26:00,310 --> 00:26:01,936
Isn't that amazing?
236
00:26:03,021 --> 00:26:04,314
Yeah, it is.
237
00:26:05,857 --> 00:26:07,901
It's like she's interested
in understanding the boundary
238
00:26:07,901 --> 00:26:10,904
between herself and the world
and were she to include him,
239
00:26:10,904 --> 00:26:13,865
it would be a completely
different organization,
240
00:26:13,990 --> 00:26:15,617
probably a cumbersome one.
241
00:26:17,452 --> 00:26:19,496
I admire her decisiveness.
242
00:26:19,496 --> 00:26:22,332
Or the clarity
she seems to get out of it.
243
00:26:24,292 --> 00:26:25,502
I have this feeling like
244
00:26:25,502 --> 00:26:27,545
a decision doesn't
really matter,
245
00:26:27,671 --> 00:26:30,632
that it doesn't impact
or change anything.
246
00:26:32,759 --> 00:26:35,720
I thought making a decision
would feel like more.
247
00:27:57,552 --> 00:27:58,970
Ah, fuck!
248
00:28:04,434 --> 00:28:06,186
The spring
of 1912
249
00:28:06,311 --> 00:28:09,105
was a time
of special success for me.
250
00:28:10,940 --> 00:28:13,360
I had recently met
Thomas Edison,
251
00:28:13,485 --> 00:28:16,780
who had just invented
the cylinder phonograph.
252
00:28:17,822 --> 00:28:19,866
Edison and I met several times,
253
00:28:19,866 --> 00:28:22,327
and he asked
if I would be willing
254
00:28:22,327 --> 00:28:24,537
to have my playing recorded.
255
00:28:24,663 --> 00:28:26,998
- "Eager and willing."
- I responded.
256
00:28:28,124 --> 00:28:31,419
How about April 30th?, he asked.
257
00:30:14,856 --> 00:30:16,983
To have
my playing recorded
258
00:30:16,983 --> 00:30:19,819
so that it could be heard
again and again
259
00:30:19,819 --> 00:30:22,072
made me feel
like I'd live forever.
260
00:30:31,998 --> 00:30:34,709
Many people had bought
the cylinder playing machines
261
00:30:34,834 --> 00:30:36,503
and Edison was concerned
262
00:30:36,628 --> 00:30:40,090
with keeping them supplied
with new recordings.
263
00:30:41,508 --> 00:30:43,885
I made the most
of my sessions with them
264
00:30:43,885 --> 00:30:48,181
and their first advertisements
even carried my picture.
265
00:30:52,977 --> 00:30:55,397
There are
6.5 million sound recordings
266
00:30:55,522 --> 00:30:56,981
at the British Library.
267
00:30:56,981 --> 00:31:00,026
My job as a sound archivist is
to try and find compelling ways
268
00:31:00,151 --> 00:31:02,529
to tell the stories
of these recordings
269
00:31:02,529 --> 00:31:06,032
and also to create
sensorial experiences with them,
270
00:31:06,032 --> 00:31:07,742
tapping into the effects
271
00:31:07,867 --> 00:31:10,578
that sounds can have
over memory.
272
00:31:10,578 --> 00:31:12,580
What is particular
to the preserving
273
00:31:12,706 --> 00:31:14,332
of sounds
as opposed to objects?
274
00:31:14,332 --> 00:31:17,711
People think of sound
as something that's ephemeral,
275
00:31:17,836 --> 00:31:19,921
as if once it goes out
into the universe,
276
00:31:19,921 --> 00:31:23,008
it's no longer connected
to anything or anyone.
277
00:31:23,008 --> 00:31:24,926
You can see
the difficulty of this
278
00:31:24,926 --> 00:31:26,886
when it comes
to archiving sound.
279
00:31:27,011 --> 00:31:29,264
We want sound
to be kept and remembered,
280
00:31:29,389 --> 00:31:32,100
but we also want it
to be catalogued with metadata,
281
00:31:32,100 --> 00:31:35,395
which describes
the context of its creation.
282
00:31:35,395 --> 00:31:36,730
Just because it isn't visual
283
00:31:36,730 --> 00:31:38,773
doesn't mean
that the circumstances
284
00:31:38,898 --> 00:31:40,900
of its creation
can't be made apparent.
285
00:31:40,900 --> 00:31:43,028
How do you go about presenting
286
00:31:43,028 --> 00:31:45,155
the contexts
or narratives of sounds?
287
00:31:46,865 --> 00:31:49,576
You want to bring
the sound to the surface,
288
00:31:49,576 --> 00:31:51,036
but you also want to uncover
289
00:31:51,036 --> 00:31:53,204
the history
of how it was recorded.
290
00:31:53,204 --> 00:31:54,789
Storytelling with sound archives
291
00:31:54,914 --> 00:31:56,750
is about defining
what is happening
292
00:31:56,750 --> 00:31:58,793
that isn't necessarily audible.
293
00:31:58,918 --> 00:32:02,672
For instance, wax cylinders are
one of the earliest formats
294
00:32:02,672 --> 00:32:05,008
that sound was
recorded on commercially,
295
00:32:05,008 --> 00:32:07,802
When they were made available,
Europeans could listen
296
00:32:07,927 --> 00:32:09,971
to Indigenous American music
for the first time.
297
00:32:10,096 --> 00:32:12,974
They said, "How interesting
that their songs
298
00:32:12,974 --> 00:32:15,769
"are always around three
to four minutes long."
299
00:32:15,769 --> 00:32:17,479
But what they didn't realize was
300
00:32:17,604 --> 00:32:19,939
that the physical length
of the cylinder
301
00:32:20,065 --> 00:32:23,485
actually determined
the duration of the recording.
302
00:32:24,819 --> 00:32:28,073
What is the intended effect
on the listener?
303
00:32:28,073 --> 00:32:31,076
Sorry to be so vague,
but there are all kinds.
304
00:32:31,076 --> 00:32:33,078
It depends on the type
of recording
305
00:32:33,078 --> 00:32:34,329
you're asking about.
306
00:32:34,454 --> 00:32:38,083
I'm interested in recordings
which have a narrative element
307
00:32:38,208 --> 00:32:40,794
and also ones
that bring people into a space
308
00:32:40,919 --> 00:32:43,296
in which
they can be transformed.
309
00:32:43,296 --> 00:32:45,507
As an archivist,
I want to create
310
00:32:45,507 --> 00:32:47,008
a pure listening experience
311
00:32:47,133 --> 00:32:50,679
where the storytelling isn't
just about the song or the text.
312
00:32:50,679 --> 00:32:53,390
Even though the sounds
are contained
313
00:32:53,515 --> 00:32:54,974
within the wax cylinders,
314
00:32:54,974 --> 00:32:57,227
I like to think of them
as boundary-less
315
00:32:57,227 --> 00:33:00,647
because they can take us
into different times and spaces.
316
00:33:04,776 --> 00:33:06,027
I've prepped a cylinder for you
317
00:33:06,027 --> 00:33:07,821
which has the recording
you requested on it.
318
00:33:07,821 --> 00:33:09,823
We can listen to it
in the library.
319
00:33:09,948 --> 00:33:12,117
It seems to be
quite empty in there today
320
00:33:18,206 --> 00:33:21,710
Wax cylinders are literally
cylinders coated with wax.
321
00:33:21,835 --> 00:33:23,628
The surface is
actually inscribed
322
00:33:23,628 --> 00:33:25,046
through the pressure of sound.
323
00:33:25,046 --> 00:33:27,382
It started off
as a mechanical way
324
00:33:27,382 --> 00:33:28,299
of recording sound
325
00:33:28,299 --> 00:33:30,260
that didn't require electricity.
326
00:33:30,260 --> 00:33:31,678
It was acoustic.
327
00:33:31,803 --> 00:33:34,681
Performers would sing,
speak or play
328
00:33:34,806 --> 00:33:37,767
down the horn of the phonograph.
329
00:33:38,893 --> 00:33:42,647
Recording, in essence,
is about reproducing
330
00:33:42,647 --> 00:33:45,984
or suggesting living presence.
331
00:33:45,984 --> 00:33:47,694
There was a farmer who'd play
332
00:33:47,819 --> 00:33:49,320
a recording of clucking
to his hens
333
00:33:49,320 --> 00:33:52,032
and they would lay more eggs
because they were so excited
334
00:33:52,032 --> 00:33:54,409
to hear the sound
of their own cackling.
335
00:33:58,955 --> 00:34:00,915
What I love
about wax cylinders is
336
00:34:01,041 --> 00:34:02,876
that they can have
a lot of surface noise,
337
00:34:03,001 --> 00:34:05,420
and that noise
is like a sort of metaphor
338
00:34:05,545 --> 00:34:09,758
of the distance between you
and when the recording was made.
339
00:34:09,883 --> 00:34:13,511
It's such a fragile medium,
prone to dust and mould.
340
00:34:13,511 --> 00:34:17,766
And these Blue Amberols
can wear out or shrink easily.
341
00:34:17,891 --> 00:34:19,142
But through all of that,
342
00:34:19,142 --> 00:34:21,895
you can still hear
the melody and the rhythm
343
00:34:21,895 --> 00:34:24,898
and feel the presence
of the performer.
344
00:34:24,898 --> 00:34:26,608
It wasn't stored very well,
345
00:34:26,733 --> 00:34:28,860
but I think
these kinds of imperfections
346
00:34:28,985 --> 00:34:30,445
make it all the more unique.
347
00:34:30,445 --> 00:34:33,073
You can hear
the texture of time past
348
00:34:33,198 --> 00:34:36,242
and the wounds inflicted
on the cylinder itself.
349
00:37:26,413 --> 00:37:28,748
Mother and I
were fortunate
350
00:37:28,873 --> 00:37:31,584
to have Meldreth
during the war years.
351
00:37:31,584 --> 00:37:35,422
Concert tours were becoming
increasingly difficult.
352
00:37:35,547 --> 00:37:38,925
Meldreth seasons were
long and quiet.
353
00:37:39,884 --> 00:37:41,302
There was no radio.
354
00:37:41,302 --> 00:37:44,431
People were slow
to believe the newspapers.
355
00:38:50,372 --> 00:38:52,874
Mother extended
the vegetable gardens
356
00:38:52,999 --> 00:38:54,542
and added chickens.
357
00:38:54,542 --> 00:38:57,337
This not only helped
with living expenses,
358
00:38:57,462 --> 00:39:00,340
but was
a highly patriotic undertaking.
359
00:39:37,043 --> 00:39:38,420
Nothing here.
360
00:40:10,118 --> 00:40:12,329
You don't need that, do you?
361
00:40:12,329 --> 00:40:15,165
You can tuck it away,
no one's going to steal it.
362
00:40:50,659 --> 00:40:51,743
Hi.
363
00:40:55,288 --> 00:40:56,581
You must be Joan.
364
00:40:56,581 --> 00:40:58,958
Nice to meet you.
365
00:40:58,958 --> 00:41:00,960
I am indeed. Oh! Ahem.
366
00:41:01,086 --> 00:41:02,128
I am indeed Joan
367
00:41:02,253 --> 00:41:04,589
from the Meldreth
Historical Society.
368
00:41:04,589 --> 00:41:06,633
Thank you
for agreeing to do this.
369
00:41:06,633 --> 00:41:10,136
Oh, it's not a problem.
But let's get inside, shall we?
370
00:41:10,261 --> 00:41:12,639
It's quite cold out.
371
00:41:14,599 --> 00:41:17,394
Watch yourselves
as you step in.
372
00:41:17,394 --> 00:41:20,897
I'm not sure
about the state of these floors.
373
00:41:24,818 --> 00:41:27,862
What's next door?
Is it part of the same property?
374
00:41:27,862 --> 00:41:28,863
It's a care home
375
00:41:28,863 --> 00:41:31,658
that used to be attached
to this one.
376
00:41:31,658 --> 00:41:35,453
It specializes in supporting
elderly people with dementia.
377
00:41:35,453 --> 00:41:36,705
Really?
378
00:41:36,705 --> 00:41:38,707
The reason why the homestead
was so useful
379
00:41:38,707 --> 00:41:41,501
at some point is
because the staff lived here.
380
00:41:41,501 --> 00:41:45,130
But suddenly there was a decline
in the number of patients
381
00:41:45,130 --> 00:41:48,508
and in the population
of Meldreth in general.
382
00:41:48,633 --> 00:41:51,594
So this building
became redundant.
383
00:41:53,138 --> 00:41:55,306
So it's completely out of use?
384
00:41:55,306 --> 00:41:57,058
Some say
it would be convenient
385
00:41:57,183 --> 00:41:59,227
if the building
could be levelled out,
386
00:41:59,227 --> 00:42:03,356
but it's not possible
because it has heritage status.
387
00:42:03,356 --> 00:42:06,609
So it just stands here
rotting really.
388
00:42:12,449 --> 00:42:15,285
So let's start the tour.
389
00:42:24,669 --> 00:42:28,381
So according to the architecture
of most homes
390
00:42:28,506 --> 00:42:30,550
of this kind in Cambridgeshire,
391
00:42:30,550 --> 00:42:33,720
this is where the living room
would have been.
392
00:42:33,845 --> 00:42:38,224
But back then, living rooms
were called parlours.
393
00:42:38,224 --> 00:42:40,393
Before funeral homes existed,
394
00:42:40,393 --> 00:42:44,022
bodies were exhibited
in parlours.
395
00:42:44,022 --> 00:42:46,066
Then, when people
were able to gather
396
00:42:46,066 --> 00:42:48,610
and celebrate
the life of the deceased
397
00:42:48,610 --> 00:42:49,611
in a funeral home,
398
00:42:49,736 --> 00:42:52,530
parlours became
rooms for the living.
399
00:42:52,530 --> 00:42:55,116
Hence the term living room.
400
00:42:55,241 --> 00:42:56,576
Ah.
401
00:42:57,952 --> 00:43:01,373
So just have a wander around,
get the feel for it.
402
00:43:02,248 --> 00:43:03,541
Hmm.
403
00:43:03,541 --> 00:43:06,586
Would they have used the room
for any other purpose,
404
00:43:06,586 --> 00:43:08,463
or was it strictly
when people died?
405
00:43:08,463 --> 00:43:10,382
Oh, no,
they would have used it...
406
00:43:10,382 --> 00:43:12,801
I was
always buying books.
407
00:43:12,926 --> 00:43:17,263
I typically turned
to the best current biographies,
408
00:43:17,389 --> 00:43:19,349
memoirs and travel.
409
00:43:20,308 --> 00:43:22,852
I had only a slight interest
in novels.
410
00:43:23,770 --> 00:43:25,814
The walls had been painted white
411
00:43:25,814 --> 00:43:30,151
to show off my mother's
latest photography efforts.
412
00:43:30,151 --> 00:43:32,737
On the mantle, she arranged
413
00:43:32,737 --> 00:43:36,491
some of the curios
I'd bought from Norway.
414
00:43:36,616 --> 00:43:40,078
The rugs on the floor were
the result of shrewd buying,
415
00:43:40,203 --> 00:43:45,041
and everywhere in the house was
evidence of Mother's good taste.
416
00:43:45,917 --> 00:43:49,587
If you're ready,
we'll continue to the kitchen.
417
00:43:49,587 --> 00:43:50,755
Sure.
418
00:43:50,755 --> 00:43:52,716
I'll lead the way.
419
00:43:54,968 --> 00:43:57,137
These look like
the original cabinets.
420
00:43:57,262 --> 00:44:01,099
Yeah, they would probably have
been there in Kathleen's time.
421
00:44:01,099 --> 00:44:03,768
But as you can see,
there have been
422
00:44:03,768 --> 00:44:07,605
a few modifications
over the years.
423
00:44:09,232 --> 00:44:11,484
And over by these windows
424
00:44:11,609 --> 00:44:13,611
they likely had
a washing-up station
425
00:44:13,611 --> 00:44:15,655
that's since been removed.
426
00:44:17,198 --> 00:44:18,450
Oh!
427
00:44:18,450 --> 00:44:22,412
Incontinence pads, size L.
428
00:44:23,747 --> 00:44:25,665
Nine orders.
429
00:44:25,665 --> 00:44:28,835
I was described
as unusual. Hmm.
430
00:44:29,919 --> 00:44:34,466
A Rossetti beauty
with my elongated neck,
431
00:44:34,466 --> 00:44:36,384
broad shoulders
432
00:44:36,509 --> 00:44:39,095
and masculine features.
433
00:44:41,931 --> 00:44:45,518
This looks very sophisticated.
What was that used for?
434
00:44:45,643 --> 00:44:48,355
Yes, this is
how the servants heard
435
00:44:48,480 --> 00:44:50,315
who needed them upstairs.
436
00:44:50,315 --> 00:44:53,568
They'd be down here
and that bell would ring,
437
00:44:53,693 --> 00:44:56,029
and a number would come up
438
00:44:56,029 --> 00:45:00,742
and they'd know which room
they had to get into upstairs.
439
00:45:00,867 --> 00:45:04,371
I didn't think
about how I appeared,
440
00:45:04,371 --> 00:45:07,248
but every so often,
441
00:45:07,374 --> 00:45:10,877
when I felt myself being seen,
442
00:45:11,711 --> 00:45:14,381
it caused me to feel unsettled.
443
00:45:17,217 --> 00:45:21,846
If you'd like to follow me
to the staircase through here.
444
00:45:24,641 --> 00:45:26,851
How many bedrooms
are in this house?
445
00:45:26,851 --> 00:45:31,398
About four, I think,
at last count.
446
00:45:33,316 --> 00:45:35,485
I don't imagine
it changes very much.
447
00:45:35,485 --> 00:45:38,071
No, I don't suppose so.
448
00:45:44,077 --> 00:45:47,288
Entering
the solarium,
449
00:45:47,288 --> 00:45:50,917
I followed
that procession of characters.
450
00:45:52,419 --> 00:45:55,380
Wife of, Bath,
451
00:45:55,380 --> 00:45:57,424
Reeves,
452
00:45:57,424 --> 00:46:00,635
Chaucer, Franklin,
453
00:46:00,760 --> 00:46:03,430
Lady Abbess, Friar,
454
00:46:03,430 --> 00:46:07,434
Knight and Squire.
455
00:46:08,601 --> 00:46:13,023
I stared for a moment
and looked out at the garden.
456
00:46:14,399 --> 00:46:16,735
A long stretch
of clean lawn extended
457
00:46:16,735 --> 00:46:19,988
from the back of the house,
458
00:46:20,113 --> 00:46:24,743
at the end of which
were fruit and chestnut trees
459
00:46:24,743 --> 00:46:28,455
under which you could
play croquet
460
00:46:28,580 --> 00:46:31,082
and listen to the birds.
461
00:48:01,965 --> 00:48:05,885
My studio was entirely separate
from the main house
462
00:48:06,010 --> 00:48:08,972
so that I would not
be disturbed.
463
00:48:08,972 --> 00:48:14,352
Woe betide anyone or thing
that attempted to approach me.
464
00:48:23,737 --> 00:48:27,115
It is at the beginning
that an artist
465
00:48:27,240 --> 00:48:29,492
needs a good instrument.
466
00:48:29,492 --> 00:48:32,120
Einar Björnson spoke to me.
467
00:48:32,245 --> 00:48:36,791
The finest violin
one could acquire.
468
00:48:36,791 --> 00:48:40,086
The Guarnerius del Gesù.
469
00:48:40,211 --> 00:48:43,423
I stared in surprise
at the mention
470
00:48:43,548 --> 00:48:45,842
of this rare violin
471
00:48:45,842 --> 00:48:48,762
that was beyond the reach
of a poor girl
472
00:48:48,887 --> 00:48:51,723
scarcely passed
the student stage.
473
00:48:52,891 --> 00:48:58,605
I hadn't overcome my shock
before he put into motion
474
00:48:58,730 --> 00:49:01,983
the violin
being acquired for me.
475
00:49:02,108 --> 00:49:05,653
At first I was embarrassed
by the extravagance
476
00:49:05,653 --> 00:49:09,032
and intimidated
by the instrument.
477
00:49:09,032 --> 00:49:13,286
It had an enchanted quality
and a large presence.
478
00:49:13,286 --> 00:49:17,749
It seemed to mark something
I couldn't return from.
479
00:49:18,792 --> 00:49:20,710
I tried to give it back,
480
00:49:20,835 --> 00:49:26,007
but then I felt more alarmed
by the trickery of my mind
481
00:49:26,132 --> 00:49:30,095
that would have
me see this object as a curse.
482
00:49:31,262 --> 00:49:34,974
It was soon after revealed
that Einar spent
483
00:49:35,100 --> 00:49:38,186
his father's Nobel Prize money
484
00:49:39,104 --> 00:49:42,649
and his wife's dowry
on the violin.
485
00:49:42,774 --> 00:49:45,193
No longer having any money,
486
00:49:45,193 --> 00:49:50,323
he returned to his family,
and we no longer saw him.
487
00:49:57,956 --> 00:50:02,085
It was in my studio in Meldreth
during the war,
488
00:50:02,210 --> 00:50:03,420
without an audience,
489
00:50:03,545 --> 00:50:08,675
that I approached the del Geùu
each day and played.
490
00:50:08,800 --> 00:50:09,926
I made it my purpose
491
00:50:10,051 --> 00:50:12,429
not to be disturbed
by its power,
492
00:50:13,304 --> 00:50:17,350
but to approach it humbly
and fearlessly.
493
00:50:17,350 --> 00:50:23,523
In doing so, it became
my partner and a part of myself.
494
00:50:33,491 --> 00:50:35,076
And the violin,
495
00:50:35,201 --> 00:50:38,329
the precious
Guarnerius del Gesù.
496
00:50:39,914 --> 00:50:42,042
Where is it now?
497
00:51:56,324 --> 00:51:59,244
The house did not
have electricity
498
00:51:59,244 --> 00:52:04,416
and all illumination
was accomplished with candles,
499
00:52:04,416 --> 00:52:09,254
because my mother
was afraid of oil lamps.
500
00:52:16,177 --> 00:52:19,180
You can imagine
how candelabras added
501
00:52:19,180 --> 00:52:23,351
to the already great charm
of the house.
502
00:52:23,476 --> 00:52:27,814
At night, each of us carried
our own up to bed.
503
00:52:27,814 --> 00:52:28,773
Books that were...
504
00:52:30,108 --> 00:52:31,818
What the fuck
are you doing in here?
505
00:52:31,943 --> 00:52:32,986
What do you mean?
506
00:52:32,986 --> 00:52:34,696
You completely disappeared!
507
00:52:34,821 --> 00:52:35,947
I was following Joan,
508
00:52:35,947 --> 00:52:38,825
I turned around
and you were gone.
509
00:52:38,825 --> 00:52:42,037
- It was rude.
- I'm sorry.
510
00:52:42,037 --> 00:52:43,830
Come on.
511
00:52:43,955 --> 00:52:45,540
I told her we'd meet at the pub
512
00:52:45,540 --> 00:52:48,209
to start the walking tour
of the town.
513
00:53:12,484 --> 00:53:14,652
So you managed to find her!
514
00:53:14,778 --> 00:53:16,071
Well done.
- Sure did.
515
00:53:16,071 --> 00:53:20,158
So, the tour of Meldreth
really begins here.
516
00:53:21,159 --> 00:53:24,037
This is a pub called
the British Queen
517
00:53:24,037 --> 00:53:27,165
that was built in the 1840s.
518
00:53:27,165 --> 00:53:30,335
So would Kathleen
have possibly eaten here?
519
00:53:30,335 --> 00:53:33,088
No, because it would have been
a beer house.
520
00:53:33,088 --> 00:53:37,467
Really? Would she have
had a beer here?
521
00:53:37,467 --> 00:53:38,510
No.
522
00:53:38,510 --> 00:53:42,514
Beer houses were for the men,
the workers.
523
00:53:44,516 --> 00:53:45,517
Right.
524
00:53:51,606 --> 00:53:52,899
Audrey!
525
00:53:54,150 --> 00:53:56,945
I'll show you a few sights
of the village.
526
00:53:56,945 --> 00:53:58,947
Thank you so much
for your time.
527
00:53:58,947 --> 00:54:01,282
No, It's a pleasure.
It really is.
528
00:54:02,867 --> 00:54:04,536
It's not often I get a chance
529
00:54:04,536 --> 00:54:06,913
to show people
who've come from a long way,
530
00:54:07,038 --> 00:54:09,708
which you have, to our village.
531
00:54:16,715 --> 00:54:18,425
Is this allowed?
532
00:54:18,425 --> 00:54:22,804
You two really don't get
out of the city much, do you?
533
00:54:22,929 --> 00:54:24,973
No, I suppose we don't.
534
00:54:24,973 --> 00:54:27,934
Not many sheep
where you come from!
535
00:54:38,987 --> 00:54:40,572
Alright.
536
00:54:42,073 --> 00:54:44,701
Next stop coming up.
537
00:55:12,187 --> 00:55:13,521
This is the River Mel,
538
00:55:13,521 --> 00:55:16,691
which has flowed through here
for many years.
539
00:55:18,568 --> 00:55:21,112
It's doing quite well
at the moment,
540
00:55:21,112 --> 00:55:22,822
but sometimes it stops.
541
00:55:22,822 --> 00:55:25,700
They have a pump
to get it going again,
542
00:55:25,825 --> 00:55:27,494
if you know what I mean.
543
00:55:30,580 --> 00:55:33,291
Further up,
the river meets the mill
544
00:55:33,416 --> 00:55:37,379
where a family called
the Mortlocks lived.
545
00:55:37,504 --> 00:55:38,672
Who were they?
546
00:55:38,797 --> 00:55:44,386
They were a wealthy family
who basically owned Meldreth.
547
00:55:44,511 --> 00:55:46,304
Kathleen would probably
have known them
548
00:55:46,304 --> 00:55:48,723
because they were
at the centre...
549
00:55:52,894 --> 00:55:55,146
When I die...
550
00:56:01,903 --> 00:56:03,655
Audrey...
551
00:56:03,655 --> 00:56:04,698
Audrey?
552
00:56:09,703 --> 00:56:11,746
Do you mind recording the rest
of the walking tour?
553
00:56:11,746 --> 00:56:13,415
Sure.
554
00:57:53,973 --> 00:57:55,767
Hi.
555
00:58:04,609 --> 00:58:07,195
It's funny, the bridge
across the train tracks
556
00:58:07,320 --> 00:58:08,488
connecting the towns.
557
00:58:08,613 --> 00:58:10,949
It's funny how each town
is self-contained.
558
00:58:10,949 --> 00:58:12,784
You can really imagine it
in wartime,
559
00:58:12,784 --> 00:58:15,453
people living these quiet,
circumscribed lives.
560
00:58:15,453 --> 00:58:18,623
And you didn't even
have to finish the tour.
561
00:58:19,416 --> 00:58:22,085
How was the rest of the walk?
562
00:58:22,085 --> 00:58:23,920
It was fine.
563
00:58:26,589 --> 00:58:28,466
- I'll have the same, please.
- Okay.
564
00:58:28,466 --> 00:58:30,885
The food sounds really good.
565
00:58:30,885 --> 00:58:34,097
Fish and chips,
steak and ale pie,
566
00:58:34,097 --> 00:58:36,224
bangers and mash.
567
00:58:36,224 --> 00:58:38,268
I'll have
the steak and ale pie.
568
00:58:41,479 --> 00:58:43,356
Should I have
the mac and cheese
569
00:58:43,356 --> 00:58:45,358
or the fish and chips?
570
00:58:45,358 --> 00:58:47,527
Probably the fish and chips.
571
00:58:47,652 --> 00:58:50,530
I'll have
the fish and chips, please.
572
00:58:57,162 --> 00:58:59,539
How did you find the house?
573
00:59:03,251 --> 00:59:05,211
I found it a bit sad to see
574
00:59:05,336 --> 00:59:07,672
such a beautiful place
in disrepair.
575
00:59:07,672 --> 00:59:09,883
Did you notice
the industrial carpeting
576
00:59:10,008 --> 00:59:13,261
over the original
hardwood floors?
577
00:59:13,386 --> 00:59:16,514
There was moss growing
on the ceiling.
578
00:59:16,639 --> 00:59:21,603
It feels like
a way of life is in the past.
579
00:59:21,603 --> 00:59:24,230
Mother and daughter
living together,
580
00:59:24,356 --> 00:59:26,816
doing the same thing every day.
581
00:59:26,816 --> 00:59:31,196
Taking comfort in the materials
of their immediate surroundings.
582
00:59:31,196 --> 00:59:32,906
Not in a way
that's about luxury,
583
00:59:32,906 --> 00:59:37,702
but about intimacy
and the knowledge of a place.
584
00:59:38,453 --> 00:59:40,538
I could really
imagine her there,
585
00:59:40,538 --> 00:59:42,540
playing the violin every day.
586
00:59:42,540 --> 00:59:44,459
Even more so because
she wouldn't have known
587
00:59:44,459 --> 00:59:46,836
when she'd have
an audience again.
588
00:59:48,797 --> 00:59:50,632
How's your mother?
589
00:59:50,757 --> 00:59:52,842
She's fine.
590
00:59:53,760 --> 00:59:56,596
I mean, she's not fine,
but it's fine.
591
01:00:00,058 --> 01:00:01,768
Are you mad at me?
592
01:00:01,768 --> 01:00:04,437
I'm not mad at you.
593
01:00:04,437 --> 01:00:07,107
So you just expect me to be
594
01:00:07,232 --> 01:00:09,859
as interested
in all of this as you are?
595
01:00:11,236 --> 01:00:14,114
I've come along with you,
and I'm happy to.
596
01:00:14,239 --> 01:00:15,782
But it's an effort.
597
01:00:15,782 --> 01:00:17,283
Then you just abandon me
598
01:00:17,283 --> 01:00:18,660
in the middle
of this walking tour
599
01:00:18,785 --> 01:00:21,705
like it's something I would
have elected to do on my own.
600
01:00:22,622 --> 01:00:24,332
You're completely evasive
601
01:00:24,332 --> 01:00:26,751
when it comes
to your personal life.
602
01:00:26,751 --> 01:00:27,627
You just broke up
603
01:00:27,627 --> 01:00:29,462
with your boyfriend
of five years.
604
01:00:29,462 --> 01:00:31,297
You're completely lost
with your thesis.
605
01:00:31,423 --> 01:00:35,844
Your mother is dying
and you won't address any of it.
606
01:00:35,969 --> 01:00:38,430
You can stay with me
if you need to run away,
607
01:00:38,555 --> 01:00:40,473
and I'm happy to support you
in any way I can,
608
01:00:40,598 --> 01:00:42,475
but you cannot expect
me to sustain
609
01:00:42,600 --> 01:00:44,894
the same obsessive blindness
as you.
610
01:01:14,507 --> 01:01:16,926
I can't be near her.
611
01:01:19,888 --> 01:01:23,349
She makes
these outrageous demands,
612
01:01:23,475 --> 01:01:28,355
and if I refuse her,
it becomes even more enormous.
613
01:01:29,648 --> 01:01:31,983
She's terrified of her anger.
614
01:01:31,983 --> 01:01:34,903
But she's also covetous of it.
615
01:01:35,028 --> 01:01:37,364
She doesn't want
it taken away from her.
616
01:01:37,364 --> 01:01:39,366
She wants complete submission.
617
01:01:40,325 --> 01:01:42,661
What sorts of demands
does she make?
618
01:01:42,661 --> 01:01:44,120
So many.
619
01:01:45,038 --> 01:01:48,083
But mainly she wants me
to validate her feelings.
620
01:01:48,083 --> 01:01:51,753
Or more than that, she wants me
to feel the same as her.
621
01:01:51,753 --> 01:01:54,881
She wants me to hate
who she hates.
622
01:01:56,299 --> 01:01:58,718
Like my father,
I was never allowed
623
01:01:58,718 --> 01:02:01,805
to appreciate
how talented he was.
624
01:02:04,182 --> 01:02:06,351
When I was a kid,
she'd talk about
625
01:02:06,351 --> 01:02:08,895
the career she'd have had
if I hadn't been born.
626
01:02:12,357 --> 01:02:14,109
How by becoming a mother,
627
01:02:14,234 --> 01:02:16,903
she sacrificed
being a violinist.
628
01:02:19,322 --> 01:02:21,700
But I remember,
even when I was young
629
01:02:21,700 --> 01:02:25,745
feeling there was
something false about this.
630
01:02:25,745 --> 01:02:29,749
I think the violin made her
really unhappy,
631
01:02:29,749 --> 01:02:32,544
constantly having
to put herself forward
632
01:02:32,544 --> 01:02:35,755
and being confronted
with her limitations.
633
01:02:37,007 --> 01:02:40,427
When I was born,
she made me the reason she quit,
634
01:02:40,552 --> 01:02:43,763
making it a sacrifice,
something noble.
635
01:02:47,183 --> 01:02:50,478
Her pain makes her so helpless.
636
01:02:50,478 --> 01:02:51,771
She seems to think
637
01:02:51,771 --> 01:02:54,858
that only my devotion
can alleviate it.
638
01:02:55,900 --> 01:02:58,987
And now she's sick, it's like
she wants to take me with her.
639
01:02:58,987 --> 01:03:01,573
And I just need to get away.
640
01:03:01,573 --> 01:03:03,324
Audrey, it's okay.
641
01:03:03,324 --> 01:03:05,243
She can't take you with her.
642
01:03:05,243 --> 01:03:07,162
I think part of me
thinks it's fair
643
01:03:07,287 --> 01:03:09,205
to ask for that kind
of devotion.
644
01:03:10,290 --> 01:03:13,209
Subjugation is
not love, Audrey.
645
01:03:17,047 --> 01:03:21,051
But I understand.
And I sympathize with her.
646
01:03:22,761 --> 01:03:26,097
Well, it certainly makes it
more difficult
647
01:03:26,097 --> 01:03:29,934
if even your curiosity
is an affront to her.
648
01:03:31,895 --> 01:03:35,482
It seems to me
that your every thought
649
01:03:35,607 --> 01:03:37,317
is weighed against,
650
01:03:37,317 --> 01:03:39,944
"Is this worth choosing
over my mother?"
651
01:03:39,944 --> 01:03:42,781
And the answer
will probably always be no.
652
01:03:42,781 --> 01:03:45,533
And so everything
will always feel meaningless.
653
01:03:45,533 --> 01:03:46,993
That's why it's so important
654
01:03:47,118 --> 01:03:49,037
that people allow each other
the freedom
655
01:03:49,162 --> 01:03:52,540
to follow their desires
without guilt.
656
01:03:52,540 --> 01:03:55,835
But I don't know
how to express it.
657
01:03:57,212 --> 01:03:59,589
I feel...
658
01:04:01,966 --> 01:04:07,138
Sometimes I feel
so close to something,
659
01:04:07,138 --> 01:04:10,850
but when I try to describe it,
I lose it again.
660
01:04:31,454 --> 01:04:33,206
I'm sorry.
661
01:04:42,757 --> 01:04:46,761
Kathleen was a bit of a myth
in my family.
662
01:04:46,886 --> 01:04:49,014
Because of the hold
she had over my grandfather,
663
01:04:49,014 --> 01:04:51,307
even after she died.
664
01:04:52,517 --> 01:04:54,853
Just by the standard she set,
665
01:04:54,853 --> 01:04:58,231
her dedication without
need for congratulation.
666
01:05:03,111 --> 01:05:05,280
When I first visited
the archive,
667
01:05:05,280 --> 01:05:09,701
I had this feeling of a presence
that was already there.
668
01:05:14,331 --> 01:05:16,750
I could just feel so viscerally
669
01:05:16,875 --> 01:05:20,754
that these objects were
from the past,
670
01:05:20,879 --> 01:05:22,964
but also
that they were containers
671
01:05:23,089 --> 01:05:25,925
through which the past
could be entered.
672
01:05:28,803 --> 01:05:31,431
And then I started to read
about her life,
673
01:05:31,431 --> 01:05:34,309
how she was
the first student to study
674
01:05:34,434 --> 01:05:35,435
with Leopold Auer
675
01:05:35,560 --> 01:05:37,145
at the Saint Petersburg
Conservatory.
676
01:05:37,270 --> 01:05:41,816
How Björnson gifted her
this rare violin.
677
01:05:41,816 --> 01:05:43,985
How Halvorsen wrote
this concerto
678
01:05:44,110 --> 01:05:47,030
to demonstrate
her particular ability.
679
01:05:48,740 --> 01:05:50,950
And then all the time
after that,
680
01:05:50,950 --> 01:05:53,370
that she continued to play.
681
01:05:56,706 --> 01:05:58,625
And I started to feel
682
01:05:58,625 --> 01:06:02,087
this incredible desire
to hear her.
683
01:06:05,924 --> 01:06:09,719
Sound persists
so differently than objects do.
684
01:06:10,762 --> 01:06:12,639
It is never tangible,
685
01:06:12,764 --> 01:06:15,809
but it can be repeated
in a way that's transportive
686
01:06:15,809 --> 01:06:17,686
and connected
to every other time
687
01:06:17,686 --> 01:06:19,437
it's been sounded.
688
01:06:19,437 --> 01:06:23,733
It's like the past itself
is present.
689
01:06:29,155 --> 01:06:32,742
Didn't Kathleen keep
her copy of Opus 28?
690
01:06:33,785 --> 01:06:35,662
You said that's
the only existing instruction
691
01:06:35,787 --> 01:06:38,081
for the music.
692
01:06:41,418 --> 01:06:44,212
You could stage the concerto.
693
01:06:44,337 --> 01:06:47,340
It would be the first time
it was heard in 100 years.
694
01:06:48,717 --> 01:06:51,511
You could find
a way to hear her.
695
01:10:50,959 --> 01:10:53,962
The worst moment
for a performer
696
01:10:54,087 --> 01:10:57,382
are the first five minutes
before going onstage.
697
01:10:57,382 --> 01:11:00,093
They are terrible.
698
01:11:01,302 --> 01:11:05,432
But once I start playing,
the nervousness goes.
699
01:11:05,432 --> 01:11:07,434
As Auer often said,
700
01:11:07,434 --> 01:11:11,813
the true inspiration
of Bach or Beethoven
701
01:11:11,938 --> 01:11:14,941
harks back to nature.
702
01:11:14,941 --> 01:11:17,527
Nature of the divine.
703
01:11:17,652 --> 01:11:21,781
Inspiration lies dormant
until we make it glow.
704
01:12:42,737 --> 01:12:46,574
I was coming to the end
of a heavy European tour
705
01:12:46,574 --> 01:12:50,870
and Auer was in an argument
with my agent
706
01:12:50,870 --> 01:12:52,539
to get me back to London.
707
01:12:52,539 --> 01:12:55,375
He wanted me to prepare
a program to be presented
708
01:12:55,375 --> 01:12:57,794
at the Queen's Hall Orchestra.
709
01:12:58,920 --> 01:13:03,174
This would mark my departure
from being a child prodigy
710
01:13:03,299 --> 01:13:06,594
into being treated
as a serious artist.
711
01:13:07,637 --> 01:13:11,641
Oslo was the last stop
before returning home.
712
01:13:20,692 --> 01:13:25,447
I was 17 and engaged to play
at Brodrene Halls,
713
01:13:25,447 --> 01:13:28,742
which was adjacent
to the National Theater.
714
01:13:34,456 --> 01:13:36,291
It was told to me afterwards
715
01:13:36,416 --> 01:13:38,418
that the audience
from the theatre
716
01:13:38,543 --> 01:13:41,963
crowded into the hall
during their intermission
717
01:13:42,088 --> 01:13:44,507
to hear me play.
718
01:13:45,717 --> 01:13:50,138
Within days, I was asked to play
a program of Tchaikovsky
719
01:13:50,263 --> 01:13:52,432
at the National Theatre
720
01:13:52,557 --> 01:13:55,185
and asked to give
a private audience
721
01:13:55,185 --> 01:13:56,936
to the King and Queen.
722
01:13:57,937 --> 01:14:02,233
There was a feeling
of the future spilling over.
723
01:14:35,892 --> 01:14:38,436
It was at that fateful concert
724
01:14:38,436 --> 01:14:40,855
that Johan Halvorsen
was in attendance.
725
01:14:40,855 --> 01:14:45,568
He began his work on Opus 28
almost immediately.
726
01:14:48,697 --> 01:14:52,826
Einar Björnson was also present.
727
01:14:54,786 --> 01:14:57,497
And suddenly,
my mother and I became
728
01:14:57,622 --> 01:14:59,791
regular guests at his home.
729
01:14:59,791 --> 01:15:03,002
He took us out for dinner
and the theatre
730
01:15:03,002 --> 01:15:05,296
most nights
of the following week.
731
01:15:07,632 --> 01:15:09,676
Johan Halvorsen was the head
732
01:15:09,676 --> 01:15:12,846
of the Norwegian
Symphony Orchestra,
733
01:15:12,846 --> 01:15:16,182
and conducted me
in my eventual performance
734
01:15:16,307 --> 01:15:18,476
at the National Theatre.
735
01:15:18,601 --> 01:15:22,188
He toiled over the concerto
and wrote the cadenzas
736
01:15:22,314 --> 01:15:26,568
with the hope of matching
my particular ability.
737
01:15:26,568 --> 01:15:31,197
He began to send me pages
to learn and respond to,
738
01:15:31,323 --> 01:15:32,365
always emphasizing
739
01:15:32,365 --> 01:15:34,451
that if I wanted
anything altered,
740
01:15:34,451 --> 01:15:36,036
I should write to him.
741
01:15:42,000 --> 01:15:43,293
Hello.
742
01:15:46,004 --> 01:15:47,756
Yes, this is she.
743
01:15:50,925 --> 01:15:53,219
It isn't possible for me to...
744
01:15:56,306 --> 01:15:57,724
It isn't possible for me
745
01:15:57,724 --> 01:16:00,810
to return to the hospice
right away.
746
01:16:01,686 --> 01:16:04,397
You think it could
really be so soon?
747
01:16:07,150 --> 01:16:08,818
Thank you for calling.
748
01:16:47,774 --> 01:16:51,444
The music
was severe but mournful,
749
01:16:52,821 --> 01:16:55,949
and technically
very challenging.
750
01:16:57,158 --> 01:16:59,786
The joy of preparing
the concerto
751
01:16:59,786 --> 01:17:01,788
was hard to describe.
752
01:17:02,956 --> 01:17:06,376
But technical difficulty
would never discourage me.
753
01:17:06,501 --> 01:17:09,045
It only goaded me on.
754
01:17:12,716 --> 01:17:16,678
The dramatic movements
required unbroken attention.
755
01:17:16,678 --> 01:17:20,390
And I would come away
entirely exhausted.
756
01:17:44,122 --> 01:17:46,708
We'll take it from
the beginning of the 10th bar,
757
01:17:46,833 --> 01:17:50,754
where you begin the cadenza
and start to climb.
758
01:17:52,172 --> 01:17:53,548
Remember to lean deeply
759
01:17:53,673 --> 01:17:56,092
into the inside
of the phrasings.
760
01:18:07,687 --> 01:18:10,690
The solo was
extremely quick.
761
01:18:10,690 --> 01:18:13,735
Riddled with sensitive legatos.
762
01:18:13,735 --> 01:18:17,697
Signed with little crescendos
between notes.
763
01:18:18,823 --> 01:18:22,994
It was difficult to dig
into every passage
764
01:18:23,119 --> 01:18:27,791
and still come away
with the feeling of movement.
765
01:18:30,460 --> 01:18:32,253
Okay. We need to feel,
766
01:18:32,379 --> 01:18:36,091
through this section,
a little bit more...
767
01:18:36,216 --> 01:18:38,510
You're rushing through it
too much.
768
01:18:38,510 --> 01:18:40,762
You must move
with all of the changes.
769
01:18:40,887 --> 01:18:43,431
At the end of the cadenza,
we land.
770
01:18:43,431 --> 01:18:45,475
It's an unexpected surprise.
771
01:18:45,600 --> 01:18:47,727
If you're rushing
with all this intensity,
772
01:18:47,727 --> 01:18:50,397
then we're too aware
of time passing.
773
01:18:50,397 --> 01:18:51,856
Then we get to the end
774
01:18:51,856 --> 01:18:55,276
and there's no surprise,
no levity.
775
01:18:55,276 --> 01:18:57,070
It becomes boring.
776
01:18:57,070 --> 01:19:00,699
I pushed myself
to technical perfection
777
01:19:00,699 --> 01:19:04,202
because that is
where art could begin.
778
01:19:04,202 --> 01:19:08,081
For only by feeling
each note fully can one move
779
01:19:08,081 --> 01:19:12,419
into each emotional moment
in a composition.
780
01:21:21,256 --> 01:21:24,300
Tusen takk, thank you
for letting me watch rehearsal.
781
01:21:24,426 --> 01:21:25,844
It was really wonderful.
782
01:21:25,844 --> 01:21:28,888
Audrey Benac.
I'm Misha.
783
01:21:29,889 --> 01:21:32,600
- Pleased to meet you.
- You look tired.
784
01:21:32,726 --> 01:21:34,686
No, I'm fine.
785
01:21:34,811 --> 01:21:37,313
You're not fine.
Have you eaten?
786
01:21:37,313 --> 01:21:38,314
Yes, I have.
787
01:21:39,441 --> 01:21:41,192
I don't believe you.
788
01:21:41,192 --> 01:21:44,612
Come. You're going to have lunch
with Elisa and I.
789
01:21:44,612 --> 01:21:46,656
You don't have to do that.
790
01:21:47,532 --> 01:21:49,492
This yours?
791
01:21:49,617 --> 01:21:51,077
Thank you.
792
01:21:52,620 --> 01:21:54,164
Let's go.
793
01:21:59,336 --> 01:22:00,754
But there are a lot of women
794
01:22:00,879 --> 01:22:02,881
who have success
in playing the violin
795
01:22:02,881 --> 01:22:05,258
and who are celebrated for it.
796
01:22:05,383 --> 01:22:06,926
Sure, but there's a difference
797
01:22:06,926 --> 01:22:09,596
between how Canadians talk
about Kathleen Parlow
798
01:22:09,721 --> 01:22:11,681
and Glenn Gould, for example.
799
01:22:12,891 --> 01:22:15,560
Well, Glenn Gould
was a business project.
800
01:22:15,560 --> 01:22:18,605
Someone told him to play Bach
in another way.
801
01:22:18,730 --> 01:22:20,315
Someone sold his style.
802
01:22:20,440 --> 01:22:23,902
In my opinion, in comparison
to Kathleen Parlow,
803
01:22:23,902 --> 01:22:26,905
Glenn Gould had
someone that cared.
804
01:22:27,030 --> 01:22:29,157
He had a business partner
who said,
805
01:22:29,157 --> 01:22:32,911
"Okay, let's go in that hall
and they will pay you $500."
806
01:22:32,911 --> 01:22:34,120
Exactly.
Kathleen had that
807
01:22:34,120 --> 01:22:35,914
when she was
young and prodigious,
808
01:22:35,914 --> 01:22:38,166
but she came out
of WWI in her late 20s
809
01:22:38,166 --> 01:22:39,584
and her supports were gone.
810
01:22:39,584 --> 01:22:40,835
Surely that tells us
811
01:22:40,835 --> 01:22:43,046
something about
what there was a business for.
812
01:22:43,046 --> 01:22:45,507
Yes, but it's also
a question of luck.
813
01:22:45,632 --> 01:22:48,718
I disagree.
Bias makes luck impossible.
814
01:22:56,935 --> 01:22:59,729
That was really delicious.
Thank you.
815
01:23:01,731 --> 01:23:03,149
Audrey, please.
816
01:23:03,274 --> 01:23:06,027
I invited you here
not because you're a woman,
817
01:23:06,152 --> 01:23:08,738
not because you're a guest,
not because I like you,
818
01:23:08,863 --> 01:23:11,199
not even because I feel
sorry for you.
819
01:23:11,324 --> 01:23:15,078
I invited you because I want to,
and one thank you is enough.
820
01:23:15,078 --> 01:23:18,331
Sure, I'm just
really grateful.
821
01:23:19,624 --> 01:23:21,209
T'es trop polie.
822
01:23:21,209 --> 01:23:22,627
Pardon?
823
01:23:22,627 --> 01:23:24,754
You're too polite.
824
01:23:26,840 --> 01:23:30,760
How long have you been
teaching at the conservatory?
825
01:23:30,760 --> 01:23:32,220
Ten years.
826
01:23:34,389 --> 01:23:35,348
Do you like it?
827
01:23:35,348 --> 01:23:38,059
I mean, what else am I to do?
828
01:23:38,059 --> 01:23:40,311
Music is a language
which I speak.
829
01:23:40,437 --> 01:23:43,940
And teaching is a way
of understanding that language
830
01:23:43,940 --> 01:23:45,525
and making it understood.
831
01:23:45,525 --> 01:23:47,277
It's simple.
832
01:23:53,116 --> 01:23:55,744
Does he make
you practise a lot?
833
01:23:55,869 --> 01:23:57,495
He doesn't make
me do anything.
834
01:23:57,620 --> 01:23:59,205
Right.
835
01:23:59,205 --> 01:24:01,374
I like to practise.
836
01:24:01,499 --> 01:24:05,253
It's important for me
to stay focused, to evolve.
837
01:24:06,379 --> 01:24:10,133
I only meant that it's a lot
to give your life to.
838
01:24:11,092 --> 01:24:14,220
Music isn't my life.
It is a way of life.
839
01:24:14,220 --> 01:24:16,848
You can have
any feeling toward it,
840
01:24:16,848 --> 01:24:18,850
but you're committed to it
841
01:24:18,850 --> 01:24:21,269
just as you're committed
to living.
842
01:24:21,269 --> 01:24:25,690
You can't wake up and say
to yourself, "Live fully today."
843
01:24:25,690 --> 01:24:29,069
But you can wake up and say,
"Play the violin."
844
01:24:30,362 --> 01:24:33,740
Must be incredible to produce
a violinist like Elisa.
845
01:24:35,450 --> 01:24:37,077
I don't produce violinists,
846
01:24:37,202 --> 01:24:40,038
and neither does
the conservatory.
847
01:24:40,038 --> 01:24:43,041
All they do,
and I suppose all that I do
848
01:24:43,166 --> 01:24:46,169
is make space for students
to practise making sounds.
849
01:24:46,169 --> 01:24:48,797
Sounds that will,
hopefully, impress people
850
01:24:48,797 --> 01:24:50,757
when they're played
in the theatre.
851
01:24:50,882 --> 01:24:53,468
And Elisa,
852
01:24:53,593 --> 01:24:55,762
she's a unique person.
853
01:24:55,762 --> 01:24:58,807
And at first I didn't take
her talent too seriously
854
01:24:58,932 --> 01:25:01,976
because, you know,
everyone is unique.
855
01:25:01,976 --> 01:25:04,437
Everyone has individuality.
856
01:25:05,855 --> 01:25:07,732
Her temperament reminds me...
857
01:25:07,732 --> 01:25:10,360
I don't know if
you heard me say this earlier.
858
01:25:10,360 --> 01:25:11,778
Maybe you did.
859
01:25:11,903 --> 01:25:15,573
But this young person is a wolf.
860
01:25:15,573 --> 01:25:17,826
She knows exactly
what she wants.
861
01:25:17,826 --> 01:25:20,078
You see that not only
in her life,
862
01:25:20,078 --> 01:25:22,372
but in each phrase she plays.
863
01:25:23,665 --> 01:25:25,875
That must be
quite a thing to feel.
864
01:25:27,252 --> 01:25:30,880
I have to go home now.
It's time to practise.
865
01:25:36,845 --> 01:25:39,556
- It was good to meet you.
- Good to meet you.
866
01:25:39,556 --> 01:25:41,224
Bye, Elisa.
867
01:26:00,118 --> 01:26:02,287
Have you had a chance
to read the manuscript
868
01:26:02,287 --> 01:26:04,748
of the concerto
that I emailed you?
869
01:26:04,748 --> 01:26:06,583
The Halvorsen?
870
01:26:07,917 --> 01:26:10,086
Now he was
an excellent conductor,
871
01:26:10,211 --> 01:26:12,589
but he wasn't a great composer.
872
01:26:14,132 --> 01:26:17,594
I don't think
that's true exactly.
873
01:26:17,594 --> 01:26:18,887
And the piece is unique
874
01:26:18,887 --> 01:26:20,680
because it's written
for the violin.
875
01:26:20,680 --> 01:26:24,184
And Halvorsen was a violinist
and composed on the violin.
876
01:26:24,184 --> 01:26:26,519
He really explored
the possibilities
877
01:26:26,519 --> 01:26:27,395
of the instrument.
878
01:26:27,395 --> 01:26:30,648
He was a romantic
and a neurotic.
879
01:26:30,648 --> 01:26:33,026
He recycled
many of the same themes
880
01:26:33,026 --> 01:26:35,070
and didn't seem to ever be able
881
01:26:35,195 --> 01:26:37,864
to articulate
what he was getting at.
882
01:26:42,285 --> 01:26:45,955
Is it your ambition
to get this concerto performed?
883
01:26:45,955 --> 01:26:48,124
Yes, it is.
884
01:26:48,249 --> 01:26:49,918
And it's the Toronto Symphony
885
01:26:49,918 --> 01:26:51,670
that you want
to have perform it?
886
01:26:51,795 --> 01:26:53,213
Yes.
887
01:26:54,589 --> 01:26:57,634
It's never been performed
in Canada before.
888
01:26:58,885 --> 01:26:59,928
I've written to them,
889
01:26:59,928 --> 01:27:02,430
but they haven't
gotten back to me yet.
890
01:27:02,430 --> 01:27:05,892
It might take you four years
to get a "no",
891
01:27:06,017 --> 01:27:08,895
but sure, you can keep trying.
892
01:27:12,732 --> 01:27:14,442
What if I told you
it might sound
893
01:27:14,442 --> 01:27:16,987
much better somewhere else?
894
01:27:20,657 --> 01:27:23,451
En flaske akevitt og to glass.
895
01:27:25,203 --> 01:27:29,916
You'll need to get the concerto
transcribed to be performed,
896
01:27:29,916 --> 01:27:33,086
and to be cross-referenced
with any source material
897
01:27:33,211 --> 01:27:35,088
to determine
the most final version.
898
01:27:35,213 --> 01:27:36,840
It's not just the violin solo,
899
01:27:36,840 --> 01:27:39,134
it's the full orchestral score
and parts.
900
01:27:39,259 --> 01:27:40,885
And there's correspondence
901
01:27:40,885 --> 01:27:42,429
between Kathleen and Halvorsen
902
01:27:42,429 --> 01:27:45,181
concerning how
it should be interpreted.
903
01:27:45,181 --> 01:27:47,183
You'll need to engage
a music publisher
904
01:27:47,183 --> 01:27:51,104
that would organize
and finance the transcription.
905
01:28:14,919 --> 01:28:17,047
It's a matter
of engaging an orchestra
906
01:28:17,047 --> 01:28:18,715
that would program the concerto
907
01:28:18,840 --> 01:28:21,009
as part their season,
908
01:28:21,134 --> 01:28:22,761
and cover all of the costs
909
01:28:22,761 --> 01:28:25,221
of the space,
rehearsals, musicians.
910
01:28:25,221 --> 01:28:28,475
Therefore, Audrey,
what becomes your job
911
01:28:28,475 --> 01:28:31,186
is to convince people
of the historic
912
01:28:31,186 --> 01:28:34,147
and the artistic value
of the work.
913
01:28:35,273 --> 01:28:37,192
And of course, it's possible
914
01:28:37,317 --> 01:28:39,527
that the composer was
right to burn it.
915
01:28:40,445 --> 01:28:42,280
He was self-taught
and very afraid
916
01:28:42,280 --> 01:28:44,032
of being judged as a composer,
917
01:28:44,157 --> 01:28:46,034
and therefore sensitive
to criticism.
918
01:28:46,034 --> 01:28:49,496
And criticisms were that
the themes were half-baked,
919
01:28:49,621 --> 01:28:52,123
that it was dense
and overly complicated,
920
01:28:52,123 --> 01:28:54,167
that as a composer
it was tangential,
921
01:28:54,292 --> 01:28:55,543
and his ideas were incomplete.
922
01:28:55,543 --> 01:28:58,838
It doesn't have to be
a masterpiece in order justify
923
01:28:58,963 --> 01:29:00,507
the need for it to be performed.
924
01:29:00,632 --> 01:29:03,760
There's value
in a minor work, too.
925
01:29:04,719 --> 01:29:07,389
It's possible that it's
intentionally fragmentary.
926
01:29:07,514 --> 01:29:10,433
A lack of precision
can be a conscious strategy
927
01:29:10,558 --> 01:29:14,354
to prevent easy resolution
or domination.
928
01:29:14,479 --> 01:29:16,606
Something that isn't
whole or irrefutable
929
01:29:16,606 --> 01:29:21,069
can emote a sense
of effort and grasping.
930
01:29:21,069 --> 01:29:22,487
It's an oversimplification,
931
01:29:22,612 --> 01:29:24,948
what you said
about him being a romantic.
932
01:29:24,948 --> 01:29:27,158
Sure, he didn't make
intellectual music,
933
01:29:27,283 --> 01:29:28,576
but he was in conversation
934
01:29:28,576 --> 01:29:30,537
with folkloric music,
not just reinforcing it.
935
01:29:30,662 --> 01:29:33,456
You need to look harder at
what the experiments are.
936
01:29:34,499 --> 01:29:37,419
But we can only infer so much
from reading it.
937
01:29:37,544 --> 01:29:39,921
We won't know what it is
until it's been performed.
938
01:29:39,921 --> 01:29:41,548
We need to hear it!
939
01:29:43,800 --> 01:29:45,093
Well.
940
01:29:45,093 --> 01:29:47,804
What you'll need
most essentially is
941
01:29:47,804 --> 01:29:50,056
a soloist that is daring.
942
01:29:50,056 --> 01:29:52,434
The concerto is very virtuosic,
943
01:29:52,434 --> 01:29:57,272
thick with 16th notes, arpeggios
and allegro crescendos.
944
01:29:57,272 --> 01:30:00,275
You'll need a violinist
with a certain mania
945
01:30:00,275 --> 01:30:03,403
that takes a certain glee
in attacking challenges.
946
01:30:04,612 --> 01:30:06,740
Someone perverse.
947
01:30:08,825 --> 01:30:12,746
- I thought you hadn't read it.
- I glimpsed at it.
948
01:30:18,668 --> 01:30:21,337
Why are you always carrying
that violin around?
949
01:30:21,463 --> 01:30:24,466
You said you aren't a musician.
950
01:30:24,591 --> 01:30:26,593
What is it for?
951
01:30:33,308 --> 01:30:36,019
It was my grandfather's.
952
01:30:36,019 --> 01:30:37,562
He gave it to my father
953
01:30:37,562 --> 01:30:40,982
when he retired, and my mother
was very hurt by that.
954
01:30:40,982 --> 01:30:43,443
She felt he wasn't supportive
of her career,
955
01:30:43,568 --> 01:30:45,862
and she discouraged me
from pursuing one.
956
01:30:51,534 --> 01:30:54,204
Let me take a look
at the violin.
957
01:30:55,372 --> 01:30:58,124
I won't harm it, I promise.
958
01:31:40,166 --> 01:31:43,670
It appears you have
something of value here.
959
01:31:45,964 --> 01:31:46,923
Audrey.
960
01:31:48,425 --> 01:31:51,344
I believe
that what you have here is
961
01:31:51,344 --> 01:31:54,723
a Viotti Guarnerius del Gesù.
962
01:31:57,142 --> 01:32:00,770
This instrument is
almost 300 years old.
963
01:32:04,566 --> 01:32:05,942
But how?
964
01:32:08,445 --> 01:32:11,948
Its maker, Guarneri,
was a sort of Picasso.
965
01:32:13,033 --> 01:32:13,908
His violins were made
966
01:32:13,908 --> 01:32:16,911
with reckless energy,
a certain violence.
967
01:32:18,038 --> 01:32:21,416
The wood is crude.
There are little slashes here.
968
01:32:21,416 --> 01:32:23,293
Even the design on the scroll
969
01:32:23,293 --> 01:32:26,337
is asymmetrical,
like a cubist painting.
970
01:32:26,463 --> 01:32:29,549
These instruments
proudly wear their history
971
01:32:29,674 --> 01:32:32,886
in the blemishes he let sit
on their surfaces.
972
01:32:36,598 --> 01:32:39,934
Guarneri died
when he was in his forties.
973
01:32:40,935 --> 01:32:45,732
He was a little bit of a drunk,
but he lived fully.
974
01:32:45,857 --> 01:32:48,360
A compelling life
compared to Stradivari,
975
01:32:48,360 --> 01:32:50,403
who lived very conservatively
976
01:32:50,403 --> 01:32:53,031
and died on a workbench
in his nineties.
977
01:32:53,031 --> 01:32:55,408
He made
these astonishingly elegant,
978
01:32:55,408 --> 01:32:58,244
perfectly constructed
instruments,
979
01:32:58,244 --> 01:33:00,080
but still they never matched
980
01:33:00,080 --> 01:33:01,456
the way Guarneri could make
981
01:33:01,456 --> 01:33:03,458
two vibrating plates
emit a sound.
982
01:33:03,458 --> 01:33:06,002
No, but how did I come
to have it?
983
01:33:07,796 --> 01:33:10,715
When a musician passes away,
sometimes they leave
984
01:33:10,715 --> 01:33:13,051
their instrument
to a prized pupil.
985
01:33:13,051 --> 01:33:15,011
It's possible
that your grandfather
986
01:33:15,011 --> 01:33:16,262
inherited this instrument
987
01:33:16,262 --> 01:33:17,764
from Kathleen Parlow.
988
01:33:20,975 --> 01:33:22,685
I had no idea.
989
01:33:23,478 --> 01:33:25,772
Are you sure about that?
990
01:33:27,440 --> 01:33:29,234
I felt compelled to carry it.
991
01:33:29,359 --> 01:33:32,779
I can't quite explain it
to myself.
992
01:33:46,960 --> 01:33:49,879
Thank you for lunch
and for the drink.
993
01:33:51,965 --> 01:33:52,966
I have to go.
994
01:35:08,208 --> 01:35:09,918
You were
called by many critics
995
01:35:09,918 --> 01:35:12,295
the greatest woman violinist
of the day.
996
01:35:12,295 --> 01:35:13,546
Did this bother you?
997
01:35:13,671 --> 01:35:14,714
I didn't like that.
998
01:35:14,714 --> 01:35:16,758
I didn't go out
to play as a woman.
999
01:35:16,883 --> 01:35:19,260
I went out to play
the violin, period.
1000
01:35:19,386 --> 01:35:21,680
Critics would say
that your mastery
1001
01:35:21,805 --> 01:35:24,557
and fire of the instrument
was almost masculine.
1002
01:35:24,682 --> 01:35:26,726
That also I didn't like.
1003
01:35:26,726 --> 01:35:29,145
Miss Parlow,
looking back over a career
1004
01:35:29,145 --> 01:35:30,397
that's 50 or 60 years,
1005
01:35:30,397 --> 01:35:33,441
or actually more than 60 years,
1006
01:35:33,441 --> 01:35:35,485
you're in
your seventh decade now,
1007
01:35:35,610 --> 01:35:36,903
have you any regrets?
1008
01:35:36,903 --> 01:35:38,530
You must have given up
many things
1009
01:35:38,530 --> 01:35:41,491
to have spent the hours
just in practise and travelling.
1010
01:35:41,491 --> 01:35:42,742
I didn't seem to mind.
1011
01:35:42,867 --> 01:35:44,911
It seemed to be
the thing I had to do.
1012
01:35:45,036 --> 01:35:47,622
It never occurred to me,
no matter how hard things were,
1013
01:35:47,622 --> 01:35:49,207
money and everything else,
1014
01:35:49,207 --> 01:35:52,877
we weren't good business people,
although I earned a lot.
1015
01:35:52,877 --> 01:35:55,588
But managers always managed
to get most of it away.
1016
01:35:55,588 --> 01:35:58,258
And people said, why don't you
learn what they do?
1017
01:35:58,258 --> 01:35:59,342
But they always went
1018
01:35:59,467 --> 01:36:01,052
in a different direction,
you see.
1019
01:36:01,052 --> 01:36:03,096
You learn what they did once
to teach you,
1020
01:36:03,096 --> 01:36:05,056
and that could never happen
to you again.
1021
01:36:05,181 --> 01:36:07,934
But there were other ways.
They had "a way a day."
1022
01:36:08,059 --> 01:36:11,521
It's a pity, there should be
a Canada Council grant
1023
01:36:11,521 --> 01:36:14,357
for honoured artists
who are now in retirement.
1024
01:36:14,357 --> 01:36:15,608
That'd be very nice.
1025
01:36:15,608 --> 01:36:17,777
- Let's plug for that idea.
- All right.
1026
01:36:17,902 --> 01:36:20,447
Better than medals,
don't you think?
1027
01:36:20,447 --> 01:36:23,408
Oh yes,
very much better. Yes.
1028
01:36:23,408 --> 01:36:25,493
One of the things
you must have given up
1029
01:36:25,493 --> 01:36:26,995
is marriage, domesticity.
1030
01:36:27,120 --> 01:36:28,455
Do you regret that?
1031
01:36:28,455 --> 01:36:29,497
I don't think so.
1032
01:36:29,622 --> 01:36:31,166
Not when I see
some of my friends.
1033
01:36:31,166 --> 01:36:33,501
I think I've been very lucky.
1034
01:36:33,626 --> 01:36:35,837
Was there no one
you had a special interest in?
1035
01:36:35,837 --> 01:36:38,506
Yes, but I thought
I'd have to give up the violin.
1036
01:36:38,631 --> 01:36:41,092
So you see, that's it. Violin.
1037
01:36:41,092 --> 01:36:43,970
And today, do you still
practise as much?
1038
01:36:43,970 --> 01:36:46,806
I don't practise as much,
but I do practise every day.
1039
01:36:46,806 --> 01:36:49,809
It's amazing
that with the violin
1040
01:36:49,809 --> 01:36:53,063
the digital facility is
still with you.
1041
01:36:53,188 --> 01:36:55,982
Well, when I haven't
got that, I shall stop.
1042
01:36:55,982 --> 01:36:58,026
And your instrument,
Miss Parlow, what is it?
1043
01:36:58,151 --> 01:37:00,862
That's
a Viotti Guarnerius del Gesù.
1044
01:37:00,987 --> 01:37:03,990
It's a very, very valuable
and famous instrument.
1045
01:37:03,990 --> 01:37:06,701
Something to the order
of 60 to $70 thousand?
1046
01:37:06,701 --> 01:37:08,286
It should be,
yes, that's it.
1047
01:37:08,411 --> 01:37:11,081
- How old is it?
- 1735.
1048
01:37:12,832 --> 01:37:14,834
Do you have another,
a second string?
1049
01:37:14,834 --> 01:37:17,128
Yes, I have a Ruggieri,
which is good, too.
1050
01:37:17,128 --> 01:37:19,839
Why do violinists
carry two with them?
1051
01:37:19,964 --> 01:37:22,592
Well, you see,
something might go wrong.
1052
01:37:22,592 --> 01:37:25,053
They're very sensitive
to the weather.
1053
01:37:25,053 --> 01:37:28,807
This has been in the hospital
for two days, too, with change.
1054
01:37:28,807 --> 01:37:30,558
They don't like
change of weather.
1055
01:37:30,558 --> 01:37:34,145
Italy or California
are the places they thrive in.
1056
01:37:34,145 --> 01:37:36,773
Why do you think we haven't
got great violinists today?
1057
01:37:36,898 --> 01:37:38,233
I really couldn't tell you.
1058
01:37:38,358 --> 01:37:41,695
Everybody has a new idea
what's wrong with it.
1059
01:37:41,820 --> 01:37:43,196
Rock'n'roll one of them,
1060
01:37:43,196 --> 01:37:46,074
television and records another.
I don't know.
1061
01:37:46,074 --> 01:37:49,369
These giants of yesteryear,
how do you rank them
1062
01:37:49,369 --> 01:37:52,872
with the great names that
we know as violinists today?
1063
01:37:52,997 --> 01:37:54,708
That is
a rather difficult question,
1064
01:37:54,833 --> 01:37:59,504
because nothing in my mind
can be like Ysaye and Kreisler
1065
01:37:59,504 --> 01:38:01,715
and Auer in his heyday.
1066
01:38:01,715 --> 01:38:04,592
He didn't play well in the end,
he was too nervous.
1067
01:38:04,718 --> 01:38:06,052
But I heard him in his own home
1068
01:38:06,052 --> 01:38:07,762
and there was still
the old fire.
1069
01:38:21,401 --> 01:38:22,902
Kathleen?
1070
01:38:24,487 --> 01:38:25,697
Mother?
1071
01:38:27,490 --> 01:38:28,742
Leave!
1072
01:44:12,502 --> 01:44:14,087
No...
1073
01:44:22,262 --> 01:44:24,264
No...
1074
01:44:26,641 --> 01:44:28,518
No...
1075
01:44:30,770 --> 01:44:32,355
No...
1076
01:44:34,607 --> 01:44:35,692
No...
1077
01:48:01,272 --> 01:48:03,733
Do you ever resist practising?
1078
01:48:10,573 --> 01:48:14,828
Doesn't an action lose meaning
if it becomes a habit?
1079
01:48:20,667 --> 01:48:22,961
Do you think
you missed anything
1080
01:48:23,086 --> 01:48:25,714
by giving your life
to the violin?
1081
01:48:29,175 --> 01:48:31,302
There's nothing
that I couldn't experience
1082
01:48:31,302 --> 01:48:33,972
through the violin.
1083
01:48:34,097 --> 01:48:38,935
It allowed me to feel the world,
the boundaries of myself fully.
1084
01:48:44,190 --> 01:48:46,526
My mother died.
1085
01:48:51,114 --> 01:48:52,699
I'm sorry.
1086
01:48:55,827 --> 01:48:58,121
One time,
a family friend told me
1087
01:48:58,246 --> 01:49:01,416
that I have
the same arms as my mother.
1088
01:49:01,416 --> 01:49:03,501
I had
the strangest understanding
1089
01:49:03,501 --> 01:49:05,503
that what he really meant was,
1090
01:49:05,503 --> 01:49:07,756
though I didn't then,
there was something
1091
01:49:07,756 --> 01:49:09,215
about my arms that told him
1092
01:49:09,341 --> 01:49:12,761
that I'd have the same arms
as my mother one day.
1093
01:49:14,345 --> 01:49:17,265
Some months ago I was walking
1094
01:49:17,265 --> 01:49:20,727
and I suddenly felt
in my posture
1095
01:49:20,727 --> 01:49:24,230
and the way
I was holding my arms
1096
01:49:24,356 --> 01:49:27,317
that they were
the same as my mother's.
1097
01:49:28,318 --> 01:49:30,779
A shock of fear ran through me.
1098
01:49:33,782 --> 01:49:36,493
I don't know
how to describe it other than
1099
01:49:36,618 --> 01:49:38,578
inevitability being the feeling
1100
01:49:38,578 --> 01:49:41,331
of being pulled back
and swallowed.
1101
01:49:45,960 --> 01:49:49,672
We both show
a lot of emotion in our arms.
1102
01:49:51,424 --> 01:49:52,634
They're so available,
1103
01:49:52,759 --> 01:49:55,470
but they're the first thing
that shows our shyness,
1104
01:49:55,595 --> 01:49:58,264
or a feeling of rejection.
1105
01:49:59,933 --> 01:50:02,769
I hated seeing
that I'm as easily hurt
1106
01:50:02,894 --> 01:50:04,771
and readable as she is.
1107
01:50:07,190 --> 01:50:11,569
The violin requires relaxation
of the arms and wrists.
1108
01:50:11,569 --> 01:50:14,614
Maybe it's her arms
that gave her away.
1109
01:50:19,411 --> 01:50:22,038
Do we belong to other people?
1110
01:50:23,873 --> 01:50:28,044
What responsibility do we have
to the people that love us?
1111
01:50:32,382 --> 01:50:35,677
There was a time
when love gave me my life.
1112
01:50:36,886 --> 01:50:38,972
Einar was moved by me.
1113
01:50:39,764 --> 01:50:43,268
He wanted
me to fully realize myself
1114
01:50:43,268 --> 01:50:45,770
and impress others.
1115
01:50:45,770 --> 01:50:50,066
Our love was expressed
by our dedication to my playing.
1116
01:50:56,197 --> 01:50:57,699
But there's a moment
1117
01:50:57,699 --> 01:51:02,454
when the circumstances of life
make things impossible.
1118
01:51:02,454 --> 01:51:05,332
And if you don't accept them,
1119
01:51:05,457 --> 01:51:10,003
the goodwill turns with it
and the love gets ruined.
1120
01:51:12,547 --> 01:51:14,841
But if you accept the reality,
1121
01:51:15,592 --> 01:51:16,885
the love is preserved
1122
01:51:17,010 --> 01:51:20,722
and you can carry it
throughout your life.
1123
01:51:22,807 --> 01:51:25,685
But how do you know
what's your will
1124
01:51:25,685 --> 01:51:28,104
and what's somebody else's?
1125
01:51:31,649 --> 01:51:34,694
You might find
that while you take one course,
1126
01:51:34,819 --> 01:51:37,906
the other continues
existing somewhere,
1127
01:51:39,032 --> 01:51:43,787
just as possible futures exist
that will never come to pass.
1128
01:51:45,246 --> 01:51:48,667
I think
the only question becomes
1129
01:51:48,667 --> 01:51:51,127
how can you not feel lost?
1130
01:51:55,673 --> 01:51:58,551
Sometimes I see
a path ahead of me,
1131
01:51:59,636 --> 01:52:01,596
but then I lose the feeling
1132
01:52:01,596 --> 01:52:05,141
and I don't know
how to call myself back to it.
1133
01:52:35,046 --> 01:52:38,925
Would you learn the violin solo
for Opus 28 again?
1134
02:00:32,816 --> 02:00:34,734
Not only
while she stood
1135
02:00:34,859 --> 02:00:36,069
on the concert platform,
1136
02:00:36,194 --> 02:00:37,821
but in her daily life,
1137
02:00:37,946 --> 02:00:40,699
the claim of music was supreme.
1138
02:00:40,699 --> 02:00:42,993
The photographs taken
for her debut
1139
02:00:43,118 --> 02:00:44,369
show a slender girl,
1140
02:00:44,494 --> 02:00:48,415
nearly six feet tall
and of rather unusual beauty.
1141
02:00:48,415 --> 02:00:51,584
The heavy, braided hair
brushed simply from her forehead
1142
02:00:51,584 --> 02:00:53,420
and lifted off her shoulders.
1143
02:00:53,420 --> 02:00:55,797
The velvet dress
shirred and gathered
1144
02:00:55,922 --> 02:00:57,048
from a high lace yoke,
1145
02:00:57,173 --> 02:00:58,842
gave her the appearance
1146
02:00:58,842 --> 02:01:02,011
of a figure
in a Renaissance painting.
1147
02:19:05,261 --> 02:19:09,057
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